Help me understand this lifestyle!!!

Hi, I'm Linda. My boyfriend of six months has been a o/o for 7 years. He come to work driving at the lumber company I work for 7 months ago. He didn't make the kind of money he was used to and especially didn't like working for someone else, so I encouraged him to buy another truck and get back on the road( because if he isn't happy what he is doing he won't be any fun to be with as he will be misable.) This is his first week out in his new truck (he has only been gone two days and I miss him terribly. I haven't ever had been with a man who is gone all the time. I want so badly to make it work as he is a wonderful man. Any insight you can give me regarding this lifestyle would be appreciated. We communicate daily via cell and that helps a great deal. He wants me to travel with him but I still have a child at home to raise and a full time job. I would like to marry him but he says he won't be doing that ever again, is this common with most un-married drivers? Well, Please feel free to respond. I know that there are alot of great women out there who can help me be a great trucker's girlfriend. Linda

hi linda
my name is lauri i've been married two years to a man who said i won't marry again i'm his third and he's my third. so don't worry about the marriage part he'll come around or so we'll pray my hubby's been driving three years i've been out with him but like you i have three kids to raise their teens now. like you we talk most of the night away on cell it helps alittle and if anyone tells you it gets easier don't beleave them it hasn't for me just be there for him help him in any way you can but most of all love him. i hate my hubby's choise of work but thats what he wants to do then i'll stand by him we want to go team after my childern get out of school. another three years. but we'll have alot of lonely night's without them for a while just remember its just a job i see him 4 days a month sometimes when his driver manager isn't screwing up his home time it hurts stay true to him don't cheat and i'll be here to help in anyway i can


lauri

Hi Linda,

You are taking the first step to being a great truckers g/f already by trying to find help. As far as the "never again" marriage comment disguard that. I have heard that so many times over the year. I believe it is just bad experience talking, but if the right one came along and he wants to 'hold on" to her, he will probably change his mind. my mom always says "Never say never because it will be the one thing you do."
As far as being apart. It is very hard. You have to have an even greater love and respect for someone to make it work. I always ask myself...how would i feel if he walked at that door right now and said he didn't love me anymore? then i imagin it, I realize I love him much more then I miss him. I miss him terribly, but I much rather know when he is out there and looking at home in the distance he is look at his family. Trust me if he is any kind of man and cares for u and your child, he will love you even more for standing beside him and having your voice to comfort him when he is lonely or having a bad day. he has to be away from you too and if he loves you it is just as hard for him. Please feel free to email anytime you want to talk. It was a great comfort having friends to share with also.

i know how you feel, havent seen my man for 5 weeks now and im new to this country , so get very lonely.but hang in there, youll make it ok.thank god for this site. just found it.

hello and welcome girls. sorry i ahvent been around much this school year has been more stressful. and you will soon learn to enjoy those 2 3 week lapse from hubby sweetie. after 15 years otr he is semi otr. that means he left this tues. and returned this fri. befor 6pm and now is here till mon night. again. and will probably be back befor the end of next fri. which can be good unless you try to plan a LARGE sleep over for 6-14 girls. and he doesnt like that. tells me i cant handle it. ha.
well enjoy them now treat um good and dont get too used to yor own life....
take care and again welcome. i will try to get back asap.
annie

girl friends and wives... ......I have been a truckers girl friend and now wife to one of the most understand men I have ever found and he also like the rest of your men is a trucker. As little girls we never seen our selfs living this life style only seeing our men when a "broker" says we can. We sit by the phone we make sure they have a hot meal when they get home and a nice warm bubble bath to crawl in to. I say this because I too live the life,..the special life of a truckers wife. We ladyies are a dying breed. Some people told me when I got with my now husband, Don't you know truckers cheat on their women, and I said, some men do,...some women cheat on their trucker husbands,..but do I,...no. The fact that I'm gettin at, is pure and simple, truckers wives need to stick together. Navy wives do,..and they help each other. Why can't us? We all have our own trills and tribulations. We all have our bad days. And we try to do everything that we can so the men don't have to do it when they get home. My husband 2 years ago said to me,...I won't ever get married again unless I'm able to have a child. Because his ex wife hurt him so bad. But next month he is addopting my child as his own, and we had a fun wedding in front of the justice of the peace all decked out. It's hard, it's hurting when men say this,...but give it time...he will see his way through the clouds...have a nice day,..the lillies

Hi!

LOL Oh how well I remember those words 'never again!" althought it was not my hubby who said them, but ME! I had been in a terrible marriage and although I had two very small children, I was not going to ever get married again. But I met my sweet hubby and that was that! He is 15 years older than I am-with grown kids and we even have two grandbabies and two on the way! But he took on my two kids and things have been interesting! (We have been married for 15 years now!).

As for living this interesting life that so few understand....it takes gumption, grit, grace and self discipline. But you can do it! It still amazes me how everyone just assumes that truckers make tons of money (for the most part, the families of truckers I know are at or below poverty levels!) which makes things difficult at times. But with a good paying company....things will get better. I know how hard it is to go with him when you have young children (I don't make it on the road much and my kids are teenagers!). But if there is a chance you can go, give it a try! It will give you a deeper appreciation for what your boy friend goes through...and help you to know how to anticipate his needs, as well. Not to mention that it can be fun Just don't go when you are PMSing...lol...there is NO PLACE to go then!!!!

I am new to the group as of today, actually. I have found a couple of groups though, which have really helped when things got lonely. We are really pretty new to where we live, having moved down here in July from Ohio. Love the weather, though!

Believe it or not, there WILL be times you will be glad your boy friend is on the road! My DH stepped out of driving for a time...and while he has not really been OTR that long, I was shocked at how much I sort of MISSED his being on the road (gee, seems he appreciates us more that way...lol). Once we get used to handling things..it can get...mmmm...shall I say annoying when they try to step in. But those things all work out in the end. And you will hear lots of stories about cheating husbands (and believe me, there are as many wives who do...sadly) but this really and truly is not the way it goes for MOST drivers! It is just that a few bad apples mars the entire bushel, so to speak.

What I have done to help my DH keep in touch with things is to keep a daily journal for him to read when he gets home. I share my thoughts, events of the day and even what I am feeling when we talk on the phone. Don't hide things...they will just fester. Be open and honest with each other...that will help you build a stronger relationship!

Ok, 'nuff for now! Take care and know that what your boy friend is doing is vital to our nation! As vital as soldiers who go off to war...but less dangerous on the whole!

Originally posted by lovemytruckerhubby
Hi!



Believe it or not, there WILL be times you will be glad your boy friend is on the road! My DH stepped out of driving for a time...and while he has not really been OTR that long, I was shocked at how much I sort of MISSED his being on the road (gee, seems he appreciates us more that way...lol). Once we get used to handling things..it can get...mmmm...shall I say annoying when they try to step in.

hey girls boy did you say a mouthful. if you hang around long enough you will understand every thing she just said.
when he is on your pillow or he tries to tell you how to put air in the lawn mower tires..... you will find your self saying when are you leaving....
take care and see yall soon
annie

Just have to learn how to tactfully get them to understand you don't NEED them to take over everything when they get in. A tough job, but we as women are up for it!

Your are right LMTH but, you need to make them think that they are needed for those small things that you can do with your eyes shut. And when they try to give advice smile and prentend that you did not know that.
I have found with my hubby that he likes it when I am that little helpless girl when he is home. But he knows that I am able to run the house without him.
P.S. It runs alot smoother when he is not around. But please don't tell him..... hee. hee

----just when you think you can't be without him for one more day, He comes home and descideds that the house isn't clean enough, the kids are not home enough or that they are arund when he wants to watch tv,...It does make you wonder....When are you heading out honey?....I know that feeling...Mine just today have puched my buttons and i'm ready to kill him. He has been otr for way tooo long and i missed him so much. And then comes home and thinks my kitchen is the local truck stop to hand delver his meals and give him what he wants. God I love him...But right now...I'm waiting for the kenworth to leave my driveway. Then I can cry that i'll miss him and feel better...lol...All of us know this feeling,..Anyone that don't...Isn't a truckers wife...lol...Have a good day and pray for me that the truck leaves soon...

whew lillie you said a mouth full do you live in my house everything you said is what i live some of the new girls just dont get it. i am soo proud for you to be here with your real life wisdom
welcome to you and all the new girls. but take to heart what we say cause a few of us have been here and cheating does happen ask our dear freind ming she is having it tough right now. but then we go on and hope it doesnt happen to us. try to do the right things and pray your man is nt really a hoe . cause if he is you wont be able to change that.
get one like mine and possibley lillies and you wont have to worry cause he wont have the ambition it takes for a girl friend on the side hahahahaha
yall take care and keep up the great conversations.
and guys you can chime in when you feel the need to set us straight......

[lizsabbet]

my hubby and i have been together for 13 years and he has had every job he could find....sometimes none at all! so when he got approved through our community action agency for tuition help.....we jumped at it!.....we have 2 younge girls and have been living with our parents off and on forever....so i am looking at it all with gladness and thankfulness.Yes the apart time is alittle hard but after a bit u come to like it really! i have free rein of the checking account and he has to get permision from me on how much to spend ....mwah hahahahah! just kidding....but it has to be a joint effort and he needs support emotionally all the time...if u have a good relationship before u will now...he wants to be home and misses things that go on without him....but as time goes by he becomes more accoustome to it and so will u....also.. trust is the biggest issue.!you have to realise that the men are alot of times nearly attacted by prostitues and such when they hit the bigger stops...and that most men...wouldn't touch those things with a ten foot pole.....singel or married/with girlfriend......... they would rather wait and get something better at home.....so relax, enjoy, and support, make him feal like he is priority number one...because he should be......very hard job...but a well paying ,honorable job. so good luck!

[leap frog]

Originally Posted by davidscowgirl

Hi, I'm Linda. My boyfriend of six months has been a o/o for 7 years. He come to work driving at the lumber company I work for 7 months ago. He didn't make the kind of money he was used to and especially didn't like working for someone else, so I encouraged him to buy another truck and get back on the road( because if he isn't happy what he is doing he won't be any fun to be with as he will be misable.) This is his first week out in his new truck (he has only been gone two days and I miss him terribly. I haven't ever had been with a man who is gone all the time. I want so badly to make it work as he is a wonderful man. Any insight you can give me regarding this lifestyle would be appreciated. We communicate daily via cell and that helps a great deal. He wants me to travel with him but I still have a child at home to raise and a full time job. I would like to marry him but he says he won't be doing that ever again, is this common with most un-married drivers? Well, Please feel free to respond. I know that there are alot of great women out there who can help me be a great trucker's girlfriend. Linda